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Parents everywhere praise their kids. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and
Confident Kids, says, "We've gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be
more strict." By giving kids a lot of praise, parents think they're building their children's confidence, when,
in fact, it may be just the opposite. Too much praise can backfire and, when given in a way that's insincere,
make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents'
praise has put them.
Still, don't go too far in the other direction. Not giving enough praise can be just as damaging gas giving
too much. Kids will feel like they're not good enough or that you don't care and, as a result, may see no point
in trying hard for their accomplishments.
So what is the right amount of praise? Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the
quantity. If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome, you can give it as often as your child
does something that deserves a verbal reward." We should especially recognize our children's efforts to push
themselves and work hard to achieve a goal, "says Donahue, author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go
of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters." One thing to remember is that it's the process not the end
product that matters."
Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if he's out there every day and playing
hard, you should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses. Praising the effort and not the
outcome can also mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard, cook dinner, or
finish
a
book
report.
But
whatever
it
is,
praise
should
be
given
on
a
case-by-case
basis
and
be
proportionate(
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