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begin hitting the bottle. A woman who watched her weight will overeat. Others, like me , try literally to “rn away.”勇敢地面对挑战。在经历重大打击之后，拒绝知我同样也是健康之路的重大障碍。迈克尔?阿若诺夫是个精神病医师，美国精神病协会的一名发言人。他说，很多人不是面对所发生的一切。而是“竭力填补空虚的感情假寻找一种解脱。”几乎滴酒不沾的男人会开始酗酒，担心肥胖的女性会吃得过多。其他一些人，像我一样，力图“一走子之”。
15、After working for bosses all his life, John Jankowski of Staten Island, N.Y., had always longed to have his own options and stock-trading firm. He finally got the start-up money and did well. Then came a downturn in business, and before long Jankowski was in serious financial trouble.为老板工作一辈子后，纽约史丹顿岛的约翰?简可夫斯基一直梦想有自己的选择和证券交易公司。他最终找到了启动金并经营顺利。接着生意急转直下，不久简可夫斯基就陷入严重的经济危机。
16、“It was like I’d run into a brick wall and my whole life had been shattered,” he says. With financial resources exhausted and the pressure of a family to support, Jankowski’s thoughts turned to escape.“就好像我迎头撞上一面砖墙，整个人生都被击得粉碎，”他说。经济来源耗尽，又有一个家庭需要供养，简可夫斯基开始想逃避。
17、One morning, while in a run,he just kept going. After jogging westward for two hours, he staggered back home. “It finally dawned on me that I couldn’t run away from my troubles. The only thing that made
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sense was to face up to my situation,” he says. “Admitting failure was the toughest part but I had to before I could get on with my life.”一天早上，在跑步的时候，他一直往前跑。在向西慢跑了两个小时之后，他步履蹒跚地回到家。“我终于明白不能逃离我的困境。唯一明智的事就是勇敢面对我的现状，”他说，“承认失败是困难的，但要想继续生活我必须得这么做。”
18、Get Out and Do! After a few weeks, I urge people recovering from loss to get back into a routine,”says psychiatrist and Boston University professor Bessel A.van der Kolk. “It’s important to force yourself to concentrate on things other than your hurt.” Cinsider these activities:走出门，做点事。“几周之后，我要求那些从打击中复原的人回到日常生活中去，”精神病医师，波士顿大学教授贝瑟?A?凡?库克说，“强迫自己把注意力集中到别的事情，而不是所受的伤害上，这一点至关重要。”考虑以下活动：
19、Join a support group. Once you’ve made the decision to “get on with life,” you’ll need someone to talk to –and the most effective kind of conversation can be with someone else who has undergone an ordeal.加入一个援助团体。一旦你决心“继续生活”，你会需要向人倾诉，最有效的是和其他有过痛苦经历的人交谈。
20、Read. When you can focus after the initial shock, reading, especially selfhelp books, can offer inspiration as well as relaxation.阅读。经历过最初的震惊之后，如果注意力可以集中，那就开始读书，尤其是有关自
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助的书，这将让你放松，同时也让你感到鼓舞。
21、Keep a journal. Many find comfort in creating an ongoing record of their experiences. At best it can serve as a kind of self-therapy.记日记。很多人发现纪录每天的经历让人感到安慰。日记甚至能起到自我治疗的作用。
22、Plan events. The idea that there are things to look forward to reinforces that you are forging ahead into a fresh future. Schedule that trip you’ve been postponing.做事有计划。有期待的事情，这一想法能增强你迈向全新未来的信息。将你过去推迟了的旅行重新写进时间表。
23、Learn new skills. Take a course at a community college, or take up a new hobby or sport. You have a new life ahead; any new skill will complement it.学习新的技术。在社区大学选修一门课，或是开始新的爱好或者运动。有全新的生活等着你，而任何新的技术都将使它更充实。
24、Reward yourself. During highly stressful times, even the simplest daily daily chores-getting up, showering, fixing something to eat- can seem daunting. Consider every accomplishment, no matter how small, a victory to be rewarded.奖励自己。在强压力之下，即使是最简单的日常琐事，如起床、洗澡，弄东西吃，都能使人气馁。每完成一件事，不管多么微小，都把它看作是一个值得稿劳自己的成就。
25、Exercise. Physical activity can be especially therapeutic. Therese
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Gump of Chicago felt confused and adrift after her21-years-old son committed suicide. A friend talked her into taking a jazzercize class. “It was just mindless stretching and bouncing to music.” Gump says, “but it made me feel better physically, and when you head and your troubles,” Aronoff explains, “and it allows you to experience your body with your two feet on the ground.”锻炼。体育锻炼尤其具有治疗作用。芝加哥的西瑞丝?坎普在她21岁儿子自杀后感到茫然不知所措。一个朋友说服她参加了一个爵士锻炼培训班。“只是随着音乐不动脑筋地伸伸手脚和蹦蹦跳跳，”坎普说，“但它却使我感到身体更棒，当你感觉身体更棒的时候你心理上也会感觉更好。”“锻炼使你忘却自我和身边的麻烦，”阿若诺夫解释说，“并能让你感到踏实。”
26、Be Patient with Yourself. People often ask. “When will this terrible pain stop?” Experts resist being pinned down to time frames. “Roughly, it’s a minimum of six months before you even start to feel better,” says Aronoff. “And it can be as long as a year, possibly two. A lot depends on disposition, the support within your environment, and if you get help and work on it.”对自己有耐心。人们常说，“什么时候这种可怕的痛苦才会结束？”专家门反对时间期限的限制。“大体上，你少则需要6个月才能开始感觉好点，”阿若诺夫说。“也有可能长达一年，或是两年。这很大程度上取决于你的性格、周围亲友的支持、以及是否得到帮助并借此战胜痛苦。
27、So,be easy on yourself. Recongnize that you’ll need time, and that
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your own pace of recovery may not fit with that of others. Congratulate yourself at each step through grief: I’m still here, I’ve made it this far!因此，对自己宽容些。认识到你将需要一定的时间，而且你自己的康复节奏可能和别人不一样。在走出悲痛中每前进一步都要祝贺自己：“我还活着，我已经撑到现在了。”
28、Sailing is a slow business. I made it to Florida in five weeks. In attempting to”run away,” I’d embarked on a trip that gave me a structure, a daily outdoor routine requiring physical exertion, and plenty of time. I was still hurting, but by the time I anchored in Miami, I was ready to try again.At what, I wasn’t sure.航行是个慢活，我用了5周才抵达佛罗里达。原本试图“一走了之”的我踏上一段旅途。这段旅途让我重新组织生活，培养了每天的生活规律，要求付出在户外的体力以及大量的时间。我的心依然在痛，但是等我到达迈阿密时，我已作好再次尝试的准备。尝试什么，我还没确定。
29、“Why not get back to writing-to what you were trained for?” said my dad over the phone. He was right. And here I am now, writing to you. It feels good to be back.“何不回到写作？回到你以前受过专门培训的写作嘛！”爸爸在电话那头说。他是对的。现在我就在为你而写。能回到的感觉真好。
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